explode($transformer)

“More than meets the eye!” – hmmm, did I just violate a copyright right there? Maybe if I took out the quotes…anyhoo…

Why do we adapt and continue to rebirth from day to day, year to year? Some say it’s because we need to progress to survive. I think that’s true, but I also believe that we need to transform to believe in ourselves. I mean, if we are resistant to change than how can we measure our accomplishments and growth? There are so many social networks on the web; ways to connect and grow together. It’s an awesome time to be alive and connected to the global-digital-conscience (or globodigico, copyright 2008 me). Still, our society marches on merging and separating like single celled blobs in search of each other. So what’s to become of down-time?

Rest: the final frontier (omg there I go again – please don’t sue me Mr. Shatner* and crew). I can’t get enough of it but I don’t really want it either. Between learning new stuff, playing with my son, playing with my wife (umm…co-op halo honey? not a chance >.<), and trying to squeeze the meaning and fun from every other minute of my day, rest has become a low priority; some last resort fix only to be summoned when the last drop of energy leaves my body. It’s a temporary, forced shutdown.

I think I need to re-evaluate that. At some point. Not this weekend.

I like to keep evolving and it takes all of my energy in every day to do so. I still don’t feel like I’m accomplishing enough with any speed. There is more deftness in my activity – just never seem to make firm enough marks on the world around me. I’m setting out to change that too. In the meantime, I’ll be seeking ways to evolve my inner ‘emotion-engine’ (that one was so blatant…3 for 3 wOot!) while learning to tune into my physicality and evolving my ‘rest engine’. In the end, I just want this human machine to make it as long as it can – viva mech-me!

(* side note: the William Shatner/Ben Folds “Has Been” album is one of the most life/thought-transforming and enjoyable audio works I have EVER experienced. I’m not kidding.)

joy machine

Life is amazing. I have a 2-year-old (almost 3) son and coming home to him lifts my spirits beyond what I could have ever imagined. Most of the day I’m in the trenches of design and code, and the drive home is really a decompression chamber for all the technical-brain-lock. When I get home and see his happy little face (or fussy-fuss depending on which side of his toddler bed he woke up on after naptime), nothing else matters.

He’s learning his numbers and alphabet, and essentially all I’m doing is learning more complex versions of the same. It’s actually pretty funny. Web development is a lot of language+logic+creativity, and I’m sure he gets just as excited when he can recognize the letter J as I do when I learn a new programming concept or design method. It psyches me up to think about that.

Both my wife and I have been anticipating this coming election with palpable excitement. We’ve felt the economic and occupational instabilities, while making choices that will ultimately keep our little man healthy and happy. We’ve seen the ravages of unchecked, unwieldy power in the White House tear apart not only our own country, but other nations in our global community. Hopefully, this war machine presidency is finally at an end. The death tolls in Iraq are ridiculous. Too many people suffering from poverty and injustice let alone the killing factor. Past, present, future – we are permanently marred. There is a lot of darkness in our world.

Then there’s my little boy. I am so thankful to be able to come home to him every day. So many parents have lost that ability through war or poverty, or some other horrible family severing event. If love covers a multitude of sins, even those of such epic proportions as our country has committed, than we have hope. Reaching into our souls and pockets in this country to help this world reach it’s potential in hope and love should be our purpose. Culturally, we have succeeded and are still succeeding in so many ways. Now is the time to sew our glorious allowances with responsibility to make this world a better place – forever.

We need to end our predatory, destructive behaviors and get back to the basics. Get back to where we belong; to love, peace and creativity. And learning like a 2 year old.